分享你听过的笑话英语作文 分享你听过的笑话英语翻译
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简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄?
笑话***jokes***往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。我整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一
Wow!That's a Big One!
哇!那个真是大得吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.
“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom.
他问哪里有洗手间。
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟。
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don't flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇二
不费吹灰之力!
There were four passengers in the *** all aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; a busines *** an, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客：一名商人，一名发明家，一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然，驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的讯息：“各位先生，这架飞机正失控下降中，我要设法迫降，但你们必须先跳下飞机。”
Naturally, the men were horrified and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.
当然，那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆，尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时，更是心惊胆战。
The busines *** an said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.
那名商人说道：“各位先生，我雇用好几千名员工，他们都要靠我养家活口，我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。”说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the *** artest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接着发明家站了起来，调整了肩带说道：“我是世界上最聪明的人，我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了，各位!”他也跟着跳出机舱。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平气和，中断祷告，对旅行者说道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我对死并不畏惧，剩下的降落伞你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The *** artest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇三
No Fooling!
不要瞎混!
"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "
“请对我温柔一些，亲爱的!”新婚之夜新娘对新郎说道。“我是个处女。”
"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her hu *** and with surprise.
“你是个处女?”她丈夫吃惊地叫道，
"But you've been married three times. "
“可是你已经结过三次婚了啊。”
"That's true. dear; but my first hu *** and was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;
“没错，亲爱的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位艺术家，他只想看我的身体。
my second hu *** and was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;
我的第二任丈夫从事广告业，而他只是告诉我那件事会有多美好。
and my third hu *** and was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. "
我的第三任丈夫是位律师，他总是说：“下星期我就回来看你。”
英语笑话及中文翻译大全?
民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事型别,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我分享英语笑话及中文翻译，希望可以帮助大家!
英语笑话及中文翻译：Now I have two skunks in there
"We have a skunk***臭鼬*** in the basement," shrieked***尖叫*** the caller to the policedispatcher***排程员***. "How can we get it out?"
"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."
Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.
"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"
“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打电话的人对警察排程员尖叫道。“我们怎样才能把它弄出来?”
“弄一些面包屑，”排程员说;“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门开启。”
一段时间后，那人又打电话打了回来。“你们将它弄出来了吗?”排程员问他。
“没有，”打电话的人答道，“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。”
英语笑话及中文翻译：Whose plate it is 谁的盘子
Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"
Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
客人：“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”
旅馆主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”
英语笑话及中文翻译：I want to know you 我想认识你
Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Girl: "It's in the phone book."
Boy: "But I don't know your name."
Girl: "That's in the phone book too."
男：我想给你打电话。你的电话号码是多少?
女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不知道你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
英语笑话及中文翻译：He's shaving you 他正在给你刮胡须
Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to themanicure***修指甲*** gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.
The girl demurred***反对，抗辩***," I don't think I ought to, I'm married."
"Why don't you ask your hu *** and," the playboy suggested." I'm sure he wouldn't object."
"You can ask him yourself ," the girl srugged, "He's shaving you."
一位年轻的 *** 在一家不熟悉的理发店里刮胡须，他很喜欢修指甲的女郎，于是提议哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看表演。
女郎犹豫着说：“我觉得我不应该去，我结过婚了。”
“你何不问问你先生，” *** 建议说：“我确定他不会反对的。”
“你可以自己问他，”女郎耸耸肩道，“他正在替你刮胡须。”
英语笑话及中文翻译：A Stubborn Horse 倔强的马
The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it pleted and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:
General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript. There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! he exclaimed.
Stubborn horse, explained the writer.
大作家疯了，但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。六个月以来，他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。终于，他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。医生急切地大声朗读起来：
“杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马，喊道：‘驾，驾，驾，驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百页纸竟全是‘驾，驾’!”他惊奇地说。
“是匹倔强的马，”作家解释道。
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话大全带翻译
当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑，还会觉得冷很冷，可是自己看的时候，却笑到不行，你有这样的经历么?以下的英语短笑话大全带翻译，希望能让你欢乐笑不停。
英语短笑话大全带翻译一：
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的`家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”
英语短笑话大全带翻译二：A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉
A preacher is buying a parrot
Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.
Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.
Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.
一个传教士在买鹦鹉
“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。
“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”
“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢?”
“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语短笑话大全带翻译三：吝啬鬼的聚会
The Mean Mans Party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝啬鬼的聚会
一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”
英语短笑话大全带翻译四：
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.
"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.
"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly . A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"
"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.
在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”，我听到的就是这些。 “祖，”我责备道，“没人明白你在说什么。” “他说他要一些番茄酱，”我丈夫平静地说。坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢?” “我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。
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