可以跟我讲笑话吗英文 可以跟我讲笑话吗英语
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边个可以give 1个笑话 to me?(急...10分)
女儿向父亲哭诉自己遭老板 *** 并已怀孕。父亲听后恼羞成怒,随即找到老板。老板:非常对不起,不过,事已至此,如果生了儿子我将给您100万元,如果是女儿,给您50万。 父亲:如果流产了,还能给一次机会吗? 从前从前,有三个好兄弟,老大叫做刘氓,老二叫做蔡刀,老三叫做马烦。有一天麻烦不见了,老大带着老二急忙的到处找老三,可是却怎么找都找不到,于是老大便带着老二去报警,进了警察局便喊道:我叫刘氓(流氓)带着蔡刀(菜刀)来找马烦(麻烦)! 某日一位小姐去买肉圆。小姐:老板,我要两个小的带走!由于生意好,过了一会儿,老板怕忙中有错,在下锅前于是问:小姐,?那两粒是小的吗?该小姐脸一红,恨恨地回了一句:老板,你那两粒才是小的! 「妈咪,我已经13岁了。」「我知道啊。」「那我可以带胸罩了吗?」「不可以。」「可是姊姊13岁就开始带胸罩了耶。」「我说不可以,就是不可以!」「那么我可以用卫生棉了吗?」「不可以。」 「姊姊13岁就开使用卫生棉了…」「我说过不.可.以!」「那我………。」「给我闭嘴!你这个笨儿子!」 算命师:你可以问我两个问题
但收费1000元 客人:这不是太贵了吗?? 算命师:对
你还剩一个问题客人:什么!!!!这也是个问题????? 算命师:对
好...下一位..... 有一天
弟弟放学回家看到哥哥在 ***
于是就问哥哥说
哥哥你在干什么
哥哥就说
我在玩1我的小弟弟啊
结果弟弟就跑回房间
突然大叫一声
哥哥就赶快去看他
就问你怎么了
弟弟就说
我在玩我的小弟 弟啊~哥哥就说
那你干嘛叫
弟弟就说
它给我喷口水
参考: ME
「福娃」吉祥物 北京奥委会定出2008年奥运五个「福娃」吉祥物--「火炬,熊猫,鱼,燕子和藏羚羊」。 阿旺十分高兴,因为他参加了一本周刊的问答比赛--「五个吉祥物有什么共同特征?」 阿旺已寄出答案,而且自信一定会得奖,想想吓,按捺不住向老婆仔自夸一番。 老婆仔知道阿旺一向傻吓傻吓,边度有咁醒,于是问:「你寄左D乜野答案呀?」 阿旺:「我系答,五个福娃吉祥物的共同特征,系表现出中国饮食文化......」 老婆仔惊讶地问:「乜话?饮食文化......」 阿旺得意地说:「难道不是吗,火炬红烧熊掌,鱼肉炖燕窝,再加一个清汤羚羊腩,福娃真好吃!」 想起你妈妈... 在跨国企业的亚洲会议里,美国人和英国人同时受邀来到台湾开会。 他们受邀到川菜餐厅吃饭,美国人先吃了一口五更肠旺,但一不小心就吃到很辣的辣椒,所以美国人就一边吃、一边流眼泪。 英国人关心的问:「你怎么了?」 美国人说:「没什么!我只是突然想念起我在美国的母亲,觉得有点难过!」 后来,英国人也吃了一大口五更肠旺,吃到辣椒,也是辣的涕泪直流。 美国人也关心的问:「你怎么了?」 英国人回答说:「喔,我也是想起了你妈妈!」 美国人一听,觉得很奇怪,开口问道:「你流眼泪跟我妈妈有什么关系? 」 英国人说:「我只是想起你妈妈,怎么会生出你这个不诚实的儿子呢?」 明星也风狂 从前有一座很大的城堡,名叫郭富城 里面住着刘德华和张惠妹一对夫妻 有一天
参考: jokes.station/
*** 讲英文 多年前, *** 访美,国外记者非常好奇 这一国元首到底会不会讲英文? 开会前翻译正好上洗手间,记者趁翻译不在, 围着 *** 问问题 外国记者用英文问: 「请问您知道美国第一任总统是?」 小平听不懂,但想第一次见面 应该是问我姓啥吧,就说: 「我姓邓」(北平腔) 记者心想:哦~"Washington - 华盛顿 (我姓邓)"还不错哦! 又问:「那您到美国除公事外,和夫人还想做些什么活动?」 小平想第一个问题问我姓什么? 接下来一定是问我的名字吧! 回说: 「小平」(北平腔) 记者想:"Shopping (小平)"!? 挺时髦的哦 记者又问:「那请问您台湾现任总任是谁?」 小平掰不下去,想去找翻译 就说:「你等会!」(李登辉) 记者见小平要走,赶紧又问: 「请问您认为台湾下一任总统是谁?」 小平被问的一头雾水又很不耐烦地 回答:「随便!」(水扁) 多年后...果然 *** 做了总统 最后记者问: 请问21世纪人类最大的问题是什么﹗ *** ﹕啥事? ( 啥事=SARS.) D记者都佩服 *** 料事如神 -w- XD*
参考: me
桌布床单 凌晨四点钟,店老板叫醒了一位熟睡的顾客。 「我可是拜托你七点钟叫醒我呀!」顾客看了看手表,大声嚷道。 「这我知道!」店主说,「但是其他的旅客要吃早餐呀。」 「这与我有甚么关系?」 店主说:「太有关系了!你正睡在我们唯一的桌布上呢!」
参考: me
如要用英文讲一个一分钟的笑话,我想起有一个国际性的笑话,是有关前美国总统克林顿与日本一首相会谈前的开场白,该首相叫 Hashimoto(我可能记错),May be you can just call him prime minister,现试用英文讲出黎: I would like to tell a joke about the conversation beeen the Bill Clinton
the former US president and Hashimoto
the Prime Minister of Japan in 1997 before starting a conference. You know the Prime Minister of Japan is not so good in speaking English and so he has prepared and memorized the wers for the pre-set questions. The first question should be from Hashimoto : How are you? And he is expecting Clinton to wer “ I am fine. Thank you. And you?” Then Hashimoto should wer “ Me too. “ However. Clinton did not ask “And you? : Instead he said “ I’m Hilliary’s hu *** and” Hashimoto still wered: “ Me too” There was a long silence. Thank you
参考: Me
不要向猩猩挥手 作者/提供者:623 千万不要向猩猩挥手 你知道挥手在人类的肢体语言是打招呼,但是,你知道在猩猩的语言当中又代表什么意思呢? 有一位大哥亲自去求证过,以下是他求证的过程与结果: 有一天这个男子到了动物园,他看见了猩猩! 于是他就对猩猩挥手;结果却被猩猩用石头砸的晕头转向的;他相当不解地跑去跟管理员询问。 管理员的说法是: "在猩猩的肢体语言里,挥手是代表污辱羞辱及骂别人 *** ,智障,低能...等意思。" "如果要跟他们示好的话,就必须对着他们搥胸。" 几天后.... 他又来了! 这次他学聪明了。当他看见猩猩时,就开始搥胸,并对他们大吼大叫。 这时候,他发现了一件事...... 一群猩猩站成一列正在向他挥手......
参考: 自己
英语笑话30个,
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似;类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
英语笑话(一)
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧?
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢?
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话(二)
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话(三)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话(四)my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人:哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话(五)Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话(六)The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。
英语笑话(七)Advice for "Kid"
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
忠告“年轻者”
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”
英语笑话(八)Which woman?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪一位女人?
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物,回来后发现车身沾满灰尘,于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊:“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看,说:“妈妈来了?”
英语笑话(九)The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她,然后大声说:“太太,我有三件事要对你说。第一,您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二,如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红,您的美貌将会改变。第三,我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
英语笑话(十)One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意,我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿,旅客们又听到机长的声音:“各位,你们猜怎么啦?我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的份上,如果我们再掉一个引擎,我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
回答者:lovemydream - 高级经理 七级 7-5 10:08
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评论者: YABNV - 魔法学徒 一级
其他回答共 2 条
Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子:“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么?” 一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外,还有“河岸”的意思。
Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife?你停止打你老婆了吗?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no,’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no,’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh,” said the witness,“answer this then:“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师,他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。
有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’,”辩护律师怒喝道: “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
“不存在这样的问题!”律师厉声打断他。
“噢,”证人说:“那么请你回答这个问题:“你停止打你老婆了吗?”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打”
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles,boys?
体育老师:孩子们,你们见过男女混合双打吗?
Nick: Yes,sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
尼克:见过,老师,经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢!
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
老师:那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
Nick: Oh,sorry,sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
尼克:啊,对不起,老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”(
笑话用英语怎么说
1、joke 读音英 d#658#601#650k美 d#658o#650k释义n 笑话玩笑v 说笑话开玩笑语法joke的基本意思是“笑话,玩笑”,指引人发笑的谈话或故事,也指供人当作笑料的事情可用作。
2、1joke 笑话,读音美d#658o#650k英d#658#601#650k2释义n玩笑,笑话笑柄vt开的玩笑vi开玩笑nJoke人名英乔克塞约凯3例句My classmates all joked。
3、jape 参考例句A rum joke 拙劣的笑话A vulgar gesture,suggestion,joke 下流的`手势示意笑话She#39s fond of jesting 她喜欢讲笑话He has a wide repertoire of dirty jokes他一肚子下流笑话She savoured the。
4、笑话的英语应该怎么说 笑话的英文joke jest jape 参考例句A rum joke 拙劣的`笑话A vulgar gesture,suggestion,joke 下流的手势示意笑话She#39s fond of jesting 她喜欢讲笑话He has a wide repertoire of。
5、名词,笑话 jokes 动词,笑话嘲笑, laugh at sb。
6、我觉得直接用joke讲即可然而你若是形容这一个笑话是英文的话,就说english joke 也是可以的drolleryjestjoke 都是指笑话的意思,不过我们通常用的就是joke,至少我是那么认为的。
7、笑话 xiào hua引人发笑的故事, 笑料jokejestjape闹笑话 make a fool of oneselfmake a funny mistake说笑话 crack a jokejape短语 耻笑 讥笑laugh atridiculehowlsneer at希望对你有帮助。
8、joke是笑话的意思,play a joke on sb是开某人一个玩笑,tell a joke是讲笑话 joker除了当讲笑话的人,还当做小丑讲,扑克牌里面的大小王就是这个词。
9、单元分析 be afraid to 害怕去做 laugh at sb 笑话取笑某人 take notes 做笔记,做记录 基于33个网页相关网页 报错 jesting 英语新词汇与常用词汇的翻译J jestful 诙谐的 jesting 笑话。
10、英语笑话故事 HeWon TommyHowisyourlittlebrother,Johnny?JohnnyHeisillinbedHehurthimself TommyThat#39stoobadHowdidthathappen? JohnnyWeplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon 他赢了 汤姆约翰尼,你。
11、一群美国人乘长途汽车在荷兰旅游他们在一个奶酪场停下来一位年轻的导游带他们参观了奶酪制作的全过程,解释说用的是羊奶她指给这群人一个美丽的山坡,山坡上许多羊在吃草对这些,她解释说,是放逐草地的老羊。
12、这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的”英语笑话四my little dog can#39t read Mrs Brown Oh, my dear, I have。
14、You#39re an athlete, you go to the race, was just about to start,the referee gave you a gun, even though you got knocked down, but the game continuesThen, you move on, the referee took out a。
15、英语小笑话带翻译100个 5 #xE768 我来答 5个回答 #热议# 职场上受委屈要不要为自己解释? 紫荆星愿 推荐于 · TA获得超过595个赞 知道答主 回答量28 采纳率0% 帮助的人0 我也去答题访问个人页 关注。
16、英语笑话故事 He Won Tommy How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny He is ill in bed He hurt himselfTommy That#39s too bad How did that happen?Johnny We played who could lean furthest out of。
17、什么叫做英语笑话英语笑话在英语中说就跟你用中文说中文笑话,不是一样的吗你如果是指这个笑话是用英文说出来的,我觉得直接用joke讲即可然而你若是形容这一个笑话是英文的话,就说English joke 也是可以的droller。
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