一个高级笑话英语 一个高级笑话英文

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英语搞笑笑话8篇

下面是我整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!

英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.

一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

英语搞笑笑话： Fried chicken

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”

杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。”

英语搞笑笑话：I've Just Bitten My Tongue

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

英语搞笑笑话：我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

How much English can you speak?

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to

be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his

way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。

而且，他只会说几个 英语单词 。"

法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文?"

被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我!"

英语搞笑笑话：He Won 他赢了

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

英语搞笑笑话：Three pastors 三个牧师

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.

The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

英语搞笑笑话：Excited Remarks 激动的话

Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.

One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车，他就会高兴得哇哇直叫，并激动地说：瞧这辆!瞧这辆，我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着，你就别想有这玩艺儿。

一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话，有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。

英语搞笑笑话：Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。

他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会 游泳 ，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

英语笑话大全带翻译

近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。我精心收集了英语笑话大全带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

英语笑话大全带翻译：The amazing golf ball

神奇的高尔夫球

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

一个高尔夫球手正要发球，跑上来一个无限谄媚的小个子推销员，喊到：“ 等一下。在您发球前，我请您看一样超神奇的东西。”

The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

高尔夫球手颇感被打搅，说道：“什么东西啊?”

"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

“是一个很特别的高尔夫球 - 一个永远不会被弄丢的球!”

"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?

“永远不会丢的球”，高尔夫球手嘲讽地说，“如果球被打到水里呢?”

"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

“没问题。它能漂起来，还能探测到哪里是岸，然后自己就能转到岸边。”

"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

“那么如果掉到树丛里呢?”

"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

“简单。它能发出嘟嘟声，这样你就能循声而至了。”

"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”

"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"

“球会在黑暗中发光啊!一句话，你永远不会找不到这个球。”

The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"

高尔夫球手当即买下这个球，随口问了一句：“你从哪搞到它的?”

"I found it."

“是我捡到的啦!”

英语笑话大全带翻译：这是我的位子

It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a windowseat.

一位女士头一回坐飞机。她登机后发现自己的座位仅靠窗子。

After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored himand told him to go away.

她坐好后，一位男士走过来坚持说她坐了他的位子。这位女士根本不听，只告诉他走开。

"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."

“好吧，”男士回答道。“如果你真想这样，你来开飞机吧。”

英语笑话大全带翻译：许愿也要小心

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.

一对夫妇结婚已经25年了，正在一起庆祝他们的结婚纪念日和60岁生日。

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

正庆祝时，一位仙女从天而降说25年来他们一直相亲相爱，她将实现他们每个人一个愿望。

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.

妻子说想环游世界。仙女握住了她的手，只听轰的一声。妻子手中出现了各种入场券和票。

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me."

接着就该丈夫许愿了。他顿了一下，然后不好意思地说：“嗯，我想要一个比我年轻30岁的妻子。”

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

仙女拿起魔杖，只听轰的一声!丈夫变成90岁的老翁了。

英语笑话大全带翻译：用金钱来表达

Boy:Honey,my love of you is beyond expression.

小伙子:亲爱的,我对你的爱,简直无法用语言来表达.

Girl:Then you can use money to express it.

姑娘:那你就用金钱来表达吧!

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译（通用11篇）

笑话是一个汉语词汇，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。下面是我整理的超好笑的英语笑话有翻译相关内容。

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇1

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel.All claimed that they were the best.

Green said: Clearly I am the most important.I am the sign of life and of hope.I was chosen for grass,trees and leaves.Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.

Blue interrupted: You only think about the earth,but consider the sky and the sea.It is the water that is the basis of life.The sky gives space and peace and serenity.Without my peace,you would all be nothing.”

Yellow chuckled: The sun is yellow,the moon is yellow,the stars are yellow.Every time you look at a sunflower,the whole world starts to smile.Without me there would be no fun.

Orange started next: I carry the most important vitamins.Think of carrots,oranges and mangoes.When I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset,my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you.

Red could stand it no longer so he shouted out: I am the ruler of all of you.I am blood一 life's blood! I bring fire into the blood.I am the color of passion and love.

Purple was very tall and spoke with great pomp: I am the color of royalty and power.Kings,chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom.People do not question me! They listen and obey.

Finally Indigo spoke,much more quietly than all the others,but with just as much determination: Think of me.I am the color of silence.I represent thought and reflection,twilight and deep water.You need me for balance and contrast,for prayer and inner peace.

And so the colors went on quarreling,each convinced of his or her own superiority.Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening,and thunder rolled.Rain started to pour down.

Rain began to speak: You foolish colors.Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose? Join hands with one another and come to me.

Doing as they were told,the colors joined hands and united.

Rain continued: From now on,when it rains,each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace.The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow.

有一天，世界上的五颜六色彼此争吵了起来，每一个颜色都声称自己是最好的。

绿色说：“很明显嘛!我就是最重要的。我是生命和希望的象征。青草、大树和叶子都选择我，只要往乡野望去，我就是主色。”

蓝色打断他的话说：“你只想到地面，想想天空和海洋吧!水是生命之源，而天空包容大地、宁静和祥和。一旦失去我的宁静祥和，你们就什么也不是了。”

黄色暗自好笑：“太阳是黄色的，月亮是黄色的，星星也是黄色的。每当你看着向日葵，整个世界也跟着笑逐言开起来。没有了我，也就没有了乐趣。”

橙色接着说：“我是最重要的维他命，想想胡萝卜、橘子和芒果。每当日出日落时，我就满布在天空，我的美丽如此令人惊艳，根本不会有人想到你们。”

红色再也按捺不住，他大声的说：“我是你们的主宰，我是血!生命之血!我将热情注入血液，我是热情和爱情的颜色。”

紫色自视甚高，而且盛气凌人的说：“我是皇室和权威的颜色，国王、领袖和大主教都选择我，因为我是权威和智慧的象征。人们不敢对我有所存疑，只有乖乖听命的份。”

靛色终于说话了，比起其它颜色，他的声音平和多了，但是，也是同样的斩钉截铁：“我是宁静之声，我代表思想、深思熟虑、曙光以及深水。你们需要我来平衡对比、祈祷并获得内在的平静。”

五言六色就这样一直吵下去，每个颜色都认为自己最优秀。突然间闪电雷鸣大作，大雨倾盆而下。

雨开口说话：“你们这些蠢颜色，你们不晓得自己各有所司吗?大家手牵手一起过来。”

那些颜色都乖乖的手牵手，站在一起。

雨接着说：“从今以后，只要一下雨，你们每个都得伸展成大弓形横跨在天际，藉以提醒大家和平共处。因为彩虹是明日希望的象征。”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇2

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads,see how the farms looked,and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard,holding a pig up in his hands,and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples,but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇3

I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes,dear," she replied."Why do you ask?"

"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"

我刚咬了自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗?”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”

“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头!”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇4

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

Just as they got into the cafe,it started to rain.

它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one," Go home and get the umbrella."

于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

The little turtle replied,"I will,if you don't drink my offee."

最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的'咖啡喝了，我就去。”

"We won't," the other two promised.

“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle,"Well,I guess he isn't coming back,so we might as well drink his coffee."

两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

Just then a voice called from outside the door,"If you do,I won't go."

正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇5

"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time.You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇6

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying,"Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming,"Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated,"ENTRANCE".

中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇7

Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II,a lot of young women in Britain were in the army.Joan Phillips was one of them.She worked in a big camp,and of course met a lot of men,officers and soldiers.

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance.He said to her,"I‘m going abroad tomorrow,but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed,and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped,but she received one from another officer,telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron,"I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh,that‘s all right," answered Joan."I‘m his sister."

"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said,"I‘m his mother!"

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇8

Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp.The first one‘s name was George,and the second one‘s name was Bill.George said,"have you got a piece of paper and an envelope,Bill?"

Bill said,"Yes,I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said,"Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his,and George wrote his letter.Then he put it in the envelope and said,"have you got a stamp,Bill?" Bill gave him one.

Then Bill got up and went to the door,so George said to him,"Are you going out?"

Bill Said,"Yes,I am," and he opened the door.

George said,"Please put my letter in the box in the office,and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered,"What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是?”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇9

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun,and John wanted to join the army,but he was only 16 years old,and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18.So when the army doctor examined him,he said that he was 18.

But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before,and the same doctor had examined him too.This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name,so when he saw John‘s papers,he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen,sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen,too," said the doctor."Are you twins?"

"Oh,no,sir," said John,and his face went red."My brother is five months older than I am."

大五个月

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇10

West Point

My father,brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College.Taking a stroll before kickoff,we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms.Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs,"to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture.They explained,"We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”

一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”

超好笑的英语笑话有翻译 篇11

Present for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store,a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend."Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment,and then said,"No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘.That way,if we ever break up,I can use it again."

送给女友的礼物

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

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