无聊的英语课 无聊的英语文案
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无聊的英语课 无聊的英语文案
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"
在开普吉拉多市的东南密苏里州立大学上学的时候,我喜欢的几个老师之中有一个以他的幽默感而出名。给新生上头一节课,他给学生解释在他课上的纪律,他说:“我知道我的课经常会很枯燥乏味,所以我并不介意你们在课上看表。然而,我坚决不允许你们把表重重的摔在课桌上,以此来检查你的表是不是还在走。
有一个‘自家老爷’‘患疾’了
有个姓朱的财主,说话最讲忌讳,还爱文绉绉说话。 那天,他叮嘱新来的小猪倌说:“记住我家的规矩:我姓朱,不准你叫我时带‘朱’(猪)字,叫‘老爷’或‘自家老爷’就行了;平时说话要文雅一点,不准说粗言俚语。例如,吃饭要说‘用餐’;睡觉要说‘就寝’;生病要说‘患疾’;病好了要说‘康复’;死了要说‘逝世’,但犯人被砍头就不能这样叫,而要说成‘处决’……” 过了几天,一头猪得了猪瘟。 小猪倌急忙跑去对财主说:“禀老爷,有一个‘自家老爷’‘患疾’了,叫它‘用餐’不‘用餐’,叫它‘就寝’不‘就寝’,恐怕已经很难‘康复’了,不如把它‘处决’了吧!
养宠物的那个哥们
养的宠物转眼间长这么大了
英文笑话:交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上,一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车,当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来,他就拼命的挣扎着,最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿,他平静了,别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎,他说:“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了,当我醒过来,我发现我躺在了路边,前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’,但是有个人挡住了那个“S”。”
媳妇是多么的爱我啊,看看给我定制的高端上档次的鞋!
媳妇给我定制的榴莲水晶鞋,高端大气上档次!真爱啊!
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