形容同事很优秀的句子 适合团队工作的句子

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形容同事很优秀的句子 适合团队工作的句子

强者恒强围观:℉更新时间:05-29 13:55

你现在阅读的是一篇关于形容同事很优秀的句子的文章,里面有丰富多彩的内容,还有给你准备适合团队工作的句子和形容同事很优秀的句子的精彩内容哦。

形容同事很优秀的句子 适合团队工作的句子

形容同事很优秀的句子 适合团队工作的句子

在职场上,如果不好好积攒人品,不好好给自己积累一点人际关系,到了关键时刻,就会没朋友,没人支持。这三句客套话,看似简单,但经常说却可以给自己带来好人缘。

1、多亏有你。

在一个团队里,每个人都希望自己是被需要的那一个,只有这样,才能深感自己的成就感。“多亏了这次有你帮忙”“你真给力,没你不行,多亏有你”。当听到这些赞美的时候,无论之前多累多辛苦,也会觉得都是值得的。

因此,在职场上这是一句很受用的话,都说夸人要夸在点子上,夸在心坎里,这句话起到一定的效果,听起来不像是客套话,更像是大实话。

2、你是一个值得相信的朋友

每个人都希望自己能够得到更多人的信任,如果能得到身边人的信任,听到他们亲口说出对自己的信任,那么自然是十分喜悦的。“我相信你!”这不但是对一个人能力的肯定和支持,更是一句话就能拉近彼此之间的距离。当你对身边的人充满信任的时候,别人也会更加把你当作自己人,更愿意亲近你。

3、你辛苦了!

看似一句简单的口头禅,却能过宽慰人心。“你真辛苦!”“谢谢你的付出,你辛苦了!”当别人忙前忙后加班、熬夜解决工作问题的时候,递上一句亲切的问候,这时候顿时有了精神,感觉再辛苦也值了。

在职场上,不要吝啬对他人的赞美,多鼓励他人,即便听起来是客套话,但或多或少也都可以增进和同事之间的感情,也能促进人缘。

不妨试一试。

我是职场达人“萍行职场”,感谢你的关注,升职加薪有套路!

2023四级作文万能句子(福利)

备考族-线上小班一站式保过方案

以下是一些分段总结的写作万能套句,希望对你的写作有所帮助。这里要强调的是任何一个模板的万能都是建立在大量练习之上,总结出自己的一套模板就可以了。 因此,以下列举的句子,不需要每一句都背的。

首段句型

1. 图片描述句型

The picture (vividly) depicts/illustrates that…

As is portrayed/shown in the picture…

We can see in the picture that…

The drawing gives a vivid description of …

According to the picture, we can notice that...

2. 图片寓意句型

This picture seems to suggest that …

This picture conveys an idea/reveals the fact that …

This picture means/seems to indicate that …

This picture is trying to capture our attention …

This picture reminds me of a ... fact :

3. 用于句首提出论题或现象的句型

Recently, ... has become the focus of the society

... has been playing an increasingly important role in our day-to day life

Nowadays there is a growing concern for ...

Nowadays it is a common to hear/see...

...has become a common occurrence in our daily life

Nowadays more and more people are beginning to be aware of the seriousness of ...

It is only during the last/past few years that man has become generally aware that...

There is an old/popular saying/proverb which says/goes...

There is a general discussion today about the issue/problem of...

Now people in growing numbers are beginning to realize that ...

表达自己的观点:

…, with which I strongly agree.

… I cannot agree more with this point of view.

As for me, …

As far as I am concerned , …

In my opinion /From my perspective, …

As to myself, I prefer the latter/former view(for the following reasons).

I totally agree with the latter idea for the reasons presented below.

观点阐述:

1. People have (take, adapt, assume) different attitudes towards sth.

2. People have different opinions on this problem.

3. People take different views of (on) the question

4. Views on this topic vary/differ greatly among...

5. ...'s opinions differ greatly on this issue.

6. Some argue/hold/take the attitude that ..., while /but others ...

感谢信首句:

1) I am writing this letter to express/present my sincere gratitude for ...

2) This letter is to tell you my true feelings from the bottom of my heart.

3) This letter is my inner feelings. I want to thank ...

4) I would like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt gratitude to you for ...

5) I am writing this letter in the purpose of showing my sincere gratitude for...

6) I am writing to you to express my thanks for...

中间段落句型(原因/建议/举例)

说明原因的句式

1.There are probably several/some/many reasons/causes for this dramatic/significant increase/decline.

2. Some reasons can explain this trend. First of all,… Secondly, … Furthermore … (for one thing,… for another,…perhaps the primary reason is …)

3. The reason for this is not far to seek. The first reason is that … The second one is … The third is…

4. Certainly, … is not the sole reason for… ; … is also responsible for the change/problem.

5. There are numerous reasons why…, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.

6. I quite agree with the statement that…, the reasons are chiefly as follows.

7. A number of factors are accountable for (might contribute to/account for) this situation/problem/phenomenon.

8. The answer to this problem involves many factors.

表达建议措施的句型

1. Therefore, in order to…, effective means should be taken to …

2. It is necessary/essential/important/that effective/proper actions/ steps/measures should be taken to end/correct/improve the situation/ tendency/phenomenon.

3. There is no/little doubt that enough concern must be paid to the problem of …

4. Only in this way, can we…

5. It’s time to take the advice of…and put special emphasis on the improvement of …

6. Here are some suggestions for handling…

7. People have figured out many ways to solve this problem.

举例论证

There are many instances supporting my opinion.

Take … for example/as an example

Considering the case of …

A good case in point is…

As one writer/scientists/ psychologist wrote/ commented/ pointed out/noted…

... is often cited as an example.

Such examples might be given easily.

结尾段落句型

总结归纳型

1. From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that....

2. We can, therefore, come to the conclusion (that)...

3. In conclusion, I strongly advocate that …

4. In a word, it is essential for us to… since…/ it is important that we should...

5. Therefore, it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that ...

6. Taking into account all of these factors, we may reach the conclusion that______ .

提出建议型:

1. It is high time that we placed great emphasis on/we put/urged an immediate end to the undesirable situation/tendency of ...

2. It is necessary that effective actions should be taken to prevent the situation.

3. Therefore, in order to..., effective means should be taken to...

4. There is little doubt that further attention must paid to the issue.

展望未来型:

1. People are coming to realize the importance of ______. Some have begun to try their best to ______. We believe that ______.

2. There will be further changes in the future.

3. To reverse the trend is not a light task. It requires a good awareness of ______.

4. There is a growing tendency for people these days to ______, which I believe will not change in a short time.

引用名言警句

1. The saying ______ has been widely accepted throughout the world.

2. As the proverb goes, ______ .

3. There is an old saying, “______.” It is the experience of our forefathers, however, it is correct in many cases even today.

4. “______” is the opinion held by______ . This remark has been confirmed time and again by more and more people.

常用句型:

做某事(对某人来说)怎么样It is+adj+(for sb.) to do sth.

为了 In order to/that

越来越多... more and more / an increasing / A growing number of people …

随着...的快速发展 With the rapid development of ...

毫无疑问. .. There is no doubt that ...

发挥日益重要的作用play an increasingly important role in...

对...产生有利/不利影响exert positive /negative effects on...

好了,我是传说中的Ben老师,可以来备考族听我的公开课,有任何考研,托福,雅思的问题都可以问我哦。

更多备考干货、经验及免费公开课视频,欢迎至留学备考族APP获取。

备考族-最好用的四六级考研APP

2023四级作文万能句子(四六级写作万能模板)

四级写作要求考生根据所规定的题目以及所给出的提示写出一篇短文,长度不少于120词,不多于180词。六级考试要求写作部分长度不少于 150 词,不多于200词。

一个好的写作模版能让我们迅速打好写作框架,提升写作效率。

作文模版套句对于大学四六级英语分数的提升可能是立竿见影的,不过我在这里要说两点:

一是模版不能生搬硬套,最好结合语境和自己的方式总结出适合自己的作文模版;

二是作文结构的清晰和语言的流畅还是一个硬功夫,想要真正写好作文还需长期的练习和积累。

好,废话不多说,以下作文模版快快收藏摘录,祝大家的写作能够突飞猛进:

一、写作模板:开头段

【引出话题背景】

1. 文字描述型:描述现象/发展趋势/客观事实

(1). In recent years,(话题词)has become a focus of concern among somebody.

近年来,_____ 已成为大家关注的焦点。

e.g. In recent years, overseas study has become a focus of concern among college

graduates.

(2). It is universally acknowledged that_____ .

人们普遍认为_____ 。

e.g. It is universally acknowledged that innovation plays an important role in the sustainable growth of our society.

(3). Nowadays, there has been a heated discussion about whether (选择1) or (选择2).

现如今,关于_____ 和_____ 产生了激烈的讨论。

e.g. Nowadays, there has been a heat discussion about whether to join a state-owned

business or to work for a joint venture.

2. 漫画图表型:表层描写 + 深层描写

(1). As is vividly shown in this picture,(描述图片的内容),we are informed that主题句

正如上图所描述的,(描述图片的内容),我们可以看出主题句

e.g. As is vividly shown in this picture thata man is sitting in front of the computer searching the Internet for information. We are informed that there is so much misleading information online in this Internet-based world.

(2). According to the picture / chart / graph / table,(描述图片的内容). It conveys the message that_____ .

根据图表,(描述图片的内容)。它向我们传递了这样的信息_____ 。

e.g. According to the picture, people keep looking at their mobile phones even while crossing the road, so they have to use walking sticks in order to see.It conveys the message that people in modern society cannot live without the cell phone.

3. 名言警句型:表层描写 + 深层描写

(1). As the saying goes, “ _____.” It aims at telling us the real meaning of _____ .

常言道: “_____ ”。 它只在告诉我们_____ 真正含义。

e.g. As the saying goes,“Learning is a daily experience and a lifetime mission.” It aims at telling us the real meaning of the significance of lifelong learning.

(2). There is a saying “_____ ”. Simple as the remark may sound, it aims at informing us of the significance of_____ .

常言道: “_____ ”。也许这句话听起来很简单,但是它旨在告诉我们_____ 的重要性。

e.g. There is a saying “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious”. Simple as the remark may sound, it aims at informing us of the significance of curiosity.

【回应写作任务】

1. 议论文:表明自己的立场/观点

(1). As far as I am concerned,_____ .

就我而言,_____ 。

e.g. As far as I am concerned, invention has contributed tremendously to the advancement of human society.

(2). From my perspective, _____ .

在我看来,_____ 。

e.g. From my perspective, both teachers and students should make great efforts to promote a harmonious and friendly teacher-student relationship.

(3). Personally, I strongly prefer the former / latter option.

于我而言,我强烈地倾向于前者/后者。

(4).In my view, I give my vote to the former / latter one.

就我而言,我支持前者/后者。

2. 说明文:表明写作的目的/意图(原因/措施/影响)

(1). In this essay, I am going to analyze / discuss_____ .

在这篇文章中,我将分析/讨论_____ 。

e.g. In this essay, I am going to discuss what measures should be taken to promote Innovation.

(2). _____ and_____ will be analyzed / discussed in this essay.

_____和 _____将会在这篇文章中被讨论/分析到。

e.g. The importance of innovation and how to promote innovation will be discussed in this essay.

【综合类】

1. Nowadays, along with背景情况, an increasing number of people are faced with the dilemma of whether to_____ or to_____ . For my part, I prefer the former / latter option. [比较选择]

现如今,随着_____ ,越来越多的人面临着这样的困境,到底是_____ 还是_____ 。就我而言,我更喜欢前者/后者。

e.g. Nowadays, along with the ending of high school, an increasing number of students are faced with the dilemma of whether to attend college at home or abroad. For my part, I prefer to latter option.

2. Views on_____ differ greatly from people to people. Some people think that it is a wise choice to_____ , while others consider it better to_____ . My opinion is that _____ . [比较选择]

人们关于_____ 的观点各有不同。一些人认为_____ 是一个明智的选择,但是其他人则认为_____会更好。我的观点是_____ 。

e.g. Views on whether to major in science or humanities differ greatly from people to people. Some people think that it is a wise choice to major in science, while others consider it better to major in humanities. My opinion is that they had better choose science as their field of study.

二、 写作模板:主体段

【主题句】

1. 提问角度:谈论看法

(1). There are two / three / several major reasons to support my point of view.

有两个/三个/几个重要的理由来支持我的观点。

(2). The reasons why I agree / disagree_____ are as follows.

我支持/反对_____ 的理由如下。

e.g. The reasons why I agree with studying abroad are as follows.

2. 提问角度:分析原因

(1). There are two reasons accounting / accountable for this statement /view/ phenomenon.

有两个理由来解释这个陈述/观点/现象。

(2). _____ may be caused by / can be attributed to two / three factors.

_____可能由这两个/三个因素引起的; _____可能归因于两/三个因素。

e.g. The great employment pressure of college students may be caused by two factors.

(3). The reason why _____ is twofold. For one thing,_____ ; for another, _____.

为什么_____ 的理由有两方面。 一方面,_____ ;另一方面,_____ 。

e.g. The reason why I am in favour of finding employment is twofold.

3. 提问角度:提出措施

(1). It is essential / imperative that some measures should be taken to_____ .

必须采取一些措施来_____ 。

e.g. It is essential that some measures should be taken to reduce employment pressure.

(2). Some feasible / practicable steps should be taken before things get worse.

在事情恶化之前,必须采取一些切实可行/行得通的措施。

4. 提问角度: 讨论影响

(1). _____ may bring about / give rise to a number of problems.

_____可能会导致很多的问题。

e.g. Overusing cell phones may give rise to a number of problems.

(2). Everything has two sides and _____ is not an exception, which has both advantages and

disadvantages.

每件事都有两面性,_____也不例外,同样也有优点和缺点。

e.g. Everything has two sides and computer is not an exception, which has both advantages and disadvantages.

【举例子】

1. This point is best illustrated with the example of_____ .

这个观点可以用这个例子来很好地解释_____。

e.g. This point is best illustrated with the example of the well-known story called “A Blind Man With A Lantern”

2. History / life abounds with lots of examples to prove this.

历史上/生活中有很多这样的例子来证明这一点。

【衔接手段】

1. 表开始

to begin with; to start with; first and foremost; first of all; most important of all

2. 表其次

next; furthermore; what’s more; additionally; besides; still; apart from

3. 表最后

lastly; finally; at last; last but not least; above all

4. 表总结

In conclusion; in a word; in summary; in a nutshell; to summarize; in short; in brief

5. 表两面

on the one hand, on the other hand; for one thing, for another; in the first place, in the second place

三、写作模板:总结段

【重申观点】

1. From what has been discussed above, it is not difficult to reach the conclusion that .

基于我们以上的讨论,我们不难得出这样的结论 。

e.g. From what has been discussed above, it is not difficult to reach the conclusion that the overuse of mobile phones is damaging to our physical health and to our family relationship as well.

2. Based on the arguments above, we may safely draw the conclusion that .

基于以上的讨论,我们可以很出这样的结论 。

e.g. Based on the arguments above, we may safely draw the conclusion that lifelong learning is not only imperative but also crucial to the success of our career.

3. Taking into account / consideration the above mentioned factors, we could come to / arrive at the conclusion that .

综合考虑以上提及的因素,我们可以得出这样的结论 。

e.g. Taking into account the above mentioned factors, we could come to arrive at the conclusion that it is more advisable to work in a state-owned business than in a joint venture after college.

【强调主题】

1. 提问角度:分析原因

(1). As discussed above,总结主体段分析过的若干原因are responsible for题目讨论的话题.

正如上所讨论的, _____是_____ 的原因。

e.g. As discussed above, job security and work-life balance are responsible for the choice of working in a state-owned business.

(2). To sum up, it is总结主体段分析过的若干原因that have contributed to题目讨论的话题.

总而言之, _____导致了_____ 。

e.g. To sum up, it is lack of working experience and high expectation for salary that have contributed to the high employment pressure of college students.

2. 提问角度:提出措施

(1). To improve this situation, it is suggested / recommended that we should try our best / do our utmost to总结主体段提到的具体措施.

为了改善这种状况,建议我们能够尽力/努力去_____ 。

e.g. To improve this situation, it is suggested / recommended that we should try our best to Improve our ability to distinguish true information from the false one.

(2). To mitigate this problem, governments should give priority to总结主体段提到的具体措施.

为了缓和这个问题,政府应该优先_____ 。

e.g. To mitigate this problem, governments should give priority to the optimization of its medical resource.

3. 提问角度:讨论影响

(1). To sum up, it is evident that there are a variety of positive / negative effects.

总而言之,很明显有各种各样的积极/消极影响。

(2). In short,题目讨论的话题would impact on具体方面in a number of ways.

简而言之, _____会在很多方面对_____ 产生影响。

e.g. In short, innovation would impact on our life and the development of our society in a number of ways.

【展望号召】

1. 预测发展趋势/潜在影响

(1). As long as_____ fully realize the significance of _____ and start taking action, I believe that

_____ could be overcome. [积极乐观]

只要 _____充分意识到_____ 的重要性并且开始采取行动,我相信_____ 能够被克服。

e.g. As long as we fully realize the significance of doing exercise regularly and start taking action, I believe some physical illness could be overcome.

(2). If we do nothing to_____ but let it go as it is, chances are that_____ . [消极悲观]

对于 _____,如果我们什么都不做而是任其继续下去,很有可能_____ 。

e.g. If we do nothing to the misleading information online but let it go as it is, chances are that it will damage to the vulnerable groups as well as to a stable society.

2. 发出强烈呼吁

(1). It is (high) time that _____ paid attention to and took coordinated action to _____ .

_____ 是时候关注 _____并且合力采取行动_____ 。

e.g. It is high time that we paid attention to environmental protection and took coordinated action to promote the sustainable growth of our country.

(2). If we are to想要达到的效果,it is important that this is treated as a priority for all concerned.

如果我们想要 _____,重要的是我们要把它视为所有事情当中的优先事项。

e.g. If we are to avoid some possible consequences of misleading information, it is important that this is treated as a priority for all concerned.


希望大家都能找到适合自己的复习方法,12月成功逆袭四六级!

如果觉得有用的话,记得点赞收藏一波哦~( ̄? ̄)~

2023四级作文万能句子(大学生必备)

一、引出开头

1:It is well-known to us that……(我们都知道……)

==As far as my knowledge is concerned, …( 就我所知…)

2:Recently the problem of…… has been brought into focus. ==Nowadays there is a growing concern over ……(最近……问题引起了关注)

3:Nowadays(overpopulation)has become a problem we have to face.(现今,人口过剩已成为我们不得不面对的问题)

4:Internet has been playing an increasingly important role in our day-to-day life. It has brought a lot of benefits but has created some serious problems as well.(互联网已在我们的生活扮演着越来越重要的角色,它给我们带来了许多好处但也产生了一些严重的问题)

5:With the rapid development of science and technology,more and more people believe that……(随着科技的迅速发展,越来越多的人认为……)

6:It is a common belief that……

==It is commonly believed that……(人们一般认为……)

7:A lot of people seem to think that……(很多人似乎认为……)

8:It is universally acknowledged that + 句子(全世界都知道...)

二、表达不同观点

1:People's views on…vary from person to person. Some hold that……However, others believe that……(人们对……的观点因人而异,有些人认为……然而其他人却认为……)

2:People may have different opinions on……(人们对……可能会持有不同见解)

3:Attitudes towards (drugs)vary from person to person.

==Different people hold different attitudes towards(failure)(人们对待……的态度因人而异)

4:There are different opinions among people as to……(对于……人们的观点大不相同)

三、表示结尾

1:In short, it can be said that……(总之,他的意思是……)

2:From what has been mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that……(从上面提到的,我们可以得出结论……)

3:Taking all these factors into consideration,we naturally/reasonably come to the conclusion that……(把所有的这些因素加以考虑,我们自然可以得出结论……)

4:Hence/Therefore, we'd better come to the conclusion that……(因此,我们最好的出这样的结论……)

5:There is no doubt that (job-hopping)has its drawbacks as well as merits.(毫无疑问,跳槽有优点也有缺点)

6:All in all, we cannot live without……,but at the same time we must try to find out new ways to cope with the problems that would arise.(总之,我们没有……无法生活,但同时我们必须寻求新的解决办法来面对可能出现的新问题)

四、提出建议

1:It is high time that we put an end to the (trend).(该是我们停止这一趋势的时候了)

2:There is no doubt that enough concern must be paid to the problem of……(毫无疑问,对……问题应予以足够重视)

3:Obviously ,if we want to do something … it is essential that……(显然,如果我们想要做么事,很重要的是……)

4:Only in this way can we ……(只有这样,我们才能……)

5:Spare no effort to + V (不遗余力的)

五、预示后果

1:Obviously,if we don't control the problem, the chances are that……will lead us in danger.(很明显,如果我们不能控制这一问题,很有可能我们会陷入危险)

2:No doubt, unless we take effective measures, it is very likely that ……(毫无疑问,除非我们采取有效措施,否则我们很可能会……)

3:It is urgent that immediate measures should be taken to stop the situation(很紧迫的是应立即采取措施阻止这一事态的发展)

2023很生气很想发飙的句子(致每一个脾气暴躁的妈妈)

每一个脾气暴躁的妈妈,都是忘了爱自己的天使。

请记住,你有多大的愤怒,就能给自己多深的爱。

多年前,我参加过一个心理疗愈培训,其中一个培训师拉着我的手说:“你是一个很有活力,且充满无限能量的人。”

当时的我还陷在自我怀疑的泥沼不可自拔,只是无助地说:“可是我的脾气很不好。”

然后她对我说了那句影响我一生的话:“我知道,你有多大的愤怒,就可以产生多大的能量。你有多大的能量,就能转化成多大的爱。”

确实如此,每一个忍不住对孩子吼叫的妈妈,都不过是把自己巨大的能量,用错了方向。

愤怒的吼叫,伤人一千,自损八百。

孩子听不懂你抱怨的背后,是无助是恐慌是疑惑,他只会变本加厉,或是因恐惧而逃避、退缩,直至冷漠。

歇斯底里的发泄,只会让你越发疲惫,问题没有解决,还留下了一些后悔与伤害。

妈妈的“语言暴力”,会将孩子越推越远,最终,成为一道沉默的墙,没有了威严与威力,同时把自己困得密不透风。

然而,道理都懂,情绪“上头”时,很多妈妈都表示,控制不住,除了发泄出来,别无他法。

是啊,压抑情绪,也许忍得了一时,却终像一座沉默的火山,怒火积聚,总有一发而不可收拾的那天。

有一天,当我看到孩子发脾气的样子,颇似我对她、对家人怒吼的模样,当她看我的眼神,越来越疏离、冷漠,当我每次发泄过后感觉满身的伤有增无减时,我下定决心,要改变。

如今,我已成为“好脾气妈妈”的代言人,同伴说起自己对孩子责骂甚至动手时,我会一脸惶恐:“我可舍不得!怎么下得了手呢?”然后迎来她们的一脸吃惊。

其实,我的言外之意是:妈妈们,你们怎么舍得用这样的方式伤害自己呢?

如果你足够爱自己,你是舍不得通过发脾气的方式来向自己开刀的。

妈妈们,请一定记得,每一次忍不住要发脾气,都是你的身心灵在发出信号:

你已经忽略自己太久!

仔细想想,你在什么时候易怒?

一定是疲惫、困惑、挫败,不受关注、不被爱的时候。

表面上,你是因为孩子的问题行为而动怒。

说实话,曾经的我,也经历过崩溃的产后抑郁,也处理了各种新手妈妈必须面对的育儿困扰,也曾看谁都不顺眼,觉得做了妈妈以后全世界都与自己为敌,没有人明白自己,事事都不如意。

奇怪的是,当我越在意要快乐,越在意要把孩子抚养得很好,越在意他人如何待我时,我就越是什么也做不好,紧绷的弦一不小心就会断开,然后就是无止境的争吵,再迎来无休止的自我怀疑、越发巨大的压力。

而当我放下那些好妈妈的标准,以及对孩子的关注,对别人的在意时,我好像卸掉了一个个重重的包袱。

轻装上阵后,我开始向内看。每次发怒,我开始静下来听听自己身体的声音:

我全身颤抖、胃部抽搐、心跳加速,每一个器官好像都在告诉我——请慢下来,请对我们好一点。

于是,我深呼吸,试图抱持住自己的身体,给它一丝暖意。

当身体安静下来时,我又听到了另一个声音:

你很生气,你觉得孩子、家人甚至是自己糟透了。但事实真的如此吗?

于是,我学着换个角度看问题,将情绪抽离开来,时刻提醒自己:

情绪只是一时的,它并不能代表完整的我,也不能解释事实的全貌。而无论此刻的我有多愤怒,无论此刻的孩子在我看来有多糟糕,那也只代表此刻。代表不了真实的我,真正的孩子。

正如张德芬老师在《遇见未知的自己》里所说:亲爱的,外面没有别人,只有你自己。

你的身体、情绪、思想都不代表完整、真实的你,你需要让“你自己”,去拥抱那些短暂又脆弱的身体反应、情绪爆炸与思想冲突。

冷静三秒,让身体回归正常。

抽离情绪,接纳它,用合理的方式消化它,于你于孩子,既是保护,也是成长。

你可以在情绪来临时,和孩子坦诚表达:“妈妈现在很生气(很烦躁)。需要冷静一下。”

甚至有时候只是对自己做一个提醒:“你现在血脉喷张、压力山大,你需要回避一下,才能更好地处理这个愤怒情绪。”

这时,就可以选择去卧室或者外面散散心,梳理一下思绪,先处理好情绪,再去想如何解决问题。

这关键的三分钟,甚至只是三秒过去后,我们的怒火能直线降温,我们也才能看见事情的本质。

拥抱情绪的过程,会让我们的心更明亮,思维也更清晰。

这时,就可以采用“经历重述”法,让“理智”拉“情绪”一把。

《全脑教养法》一书中就提到,我们的左脑主管理智,右脑主管情绪。

右脑占主导时,我们容易陷进情感的泥沼,甚至被淹没而无法自拔。正如我们发怒时,往往是失控的,过后回想,甚至觉得那些冲动的语言与行为,实在匪夷所思。

而如果左脑占主导,我们又会我走入情感的荒漠。就如无数次的吼叫终会让我们疲倦,一切都无法改变所带来的无力感,最终会让我们对育儿、对婚姻甚至对生活失去信心。

我们总是在右脑的“混乱”与左脑的“刻板”之间徘徊,要游向“幸福的河流”,就需要左脑与右脑整合、联结。就如我们陷进情绪得泥沼中时,需要以左脑的“理智”为绳,拉着冲动的情绪上岸。

而经历重述法,确实是一个对大人和小孩都同样适用的“上岸”方法。

在与孩子隔离各自冷静时,我们不妨像播放电影一样,重新回顾一遍之前所发生的事。

比如,曾经我总是被孩子莫名其妙的哭闹搅得心神不宁。当学会了“经历重述”,我才一步步了解了事情的本质,接近了自己的内心。

孩子哭了,试着喂奶、换尿布、哄睡,都无济于事,我崩溃了。

我想,自己真是失败,连个孩子也搞不定。

我还想,为什么要生娃,自己一个人过不是很好吗?甚至生出把娃从窗口丢出去的冲动。心中的怒火抑制不住,我忍不住要冲娃大吼大叫……

通过重述经历,我发现了,很多时候,孩子哭闹,不过是因为父母的焦虑。

比如再把经历往前追溯,我会发现,也许是因为孩子并无睡意,而我又疲惫不堪,要强制她入睡,她才会烦躁得哭起来。

也许她并不是困了饿了,仅仅是感觉不到妈妈的存在,或是感受到了连妈妈自己都没有觉察到的焦虑,然后用最原始的反应——哭,来表达恐惧。

而通过这种“电影回放”的方式,我不仅能迅速从愤怒情绪抽身,更找到了“上岸”的绳索,顺着抽丝剥茧、清晰而理智的逻辑找到了解决问题之道。

现在的我,面对孩子的哭闹,首先做的是反思自己:是不是因为自己不稳定的情绪创造了不安的磁场,或是自己内心的某些负面投射,引发了孩子的抗拒。

当我们让自己先回归平静,在重述过程中找问题的源头时,孩子就能在这种安定、强大的能量磁场中也安静下来,感受到我们切实的爱。

而如果我们再把眼光放远一些,会发现,那些让我们愤怒的一瞬,其实是一种信号,它提醒我们:

你必须成长,才能脱离这“愤怒-后悔-再次忍不住愤怒”的怪圈。

有个妈妈曾向我诉苦,每次孩子陪孩子做作业的时候,她都忍不住暴跳如雷,尽管她内心非常明白这样对孩子和自己的伤害有多大。

作为孩子的辅导老师,我对她说,孩子因为母亲的愤怒,已经变得越来越胆小,越来越不自信了,那种对母亲又爱又怕的情绪,甚至影响到了她的专注力。

孩子的内心没有被妈妈的爱住满,妄图通过外界——老师、培训班甚至额外课程的帮助,来提高她的成绩、能力,几乎是不可能的。

这时,这个妈妈才向我敞开心扉,说出她“强悍”的外表下,面对着多么不堪的生活与巨大的压力:

我也想每天多陪陪孩子,给她足够的爱,可是我感觉生活琐事已经把我压得喘不过气了。

二宝不到三岁,每天都黏着我,除了我谁也不要,我需要边打理门店,边照顾孩子。

我每天还要准备一个大家族——十多个人的饭菜,起早贪黑,等回到家,大宝基本上已经上完您的辅导课上床睡觉了。

而难得几次能回家关心一下她的学习,却看到她那不争气的样子,感觉都要被气炸了!再怎么告诫自己要温柔、要多爱她都没有用。

孩子的所谓“问题”,不过是妈妈愤怒情绪的一个导火索。真正导致妈妈无法平静、平和的原因,其实在于生活中那些无形的压力,以及无处寻求的关爱。

听了我的建议,这位妈妈学着把生活的压力和朋友、和丈夫、和家长说一说,表达一下自己的紧张与焦虑,甚至放下了不安与愧疚,把带二宝、做家务等事情适当地交一些出去,寻求家人的支持与帮助,减轻了一些自己的负担。

而面对大宝的学业,我也建议她不要干涉太多,给孩子太大压力。只需要每天睡前抽出哪怕十分钟来陪陪孩子,不聊作业不聊学习,听孩子说说学校发生的趣事,也跟孩子倾诉一下自己一天的忙碌与疲惫,相信母女连心的情感联结。

几个月后,孩子的性格开朗了,每天都很期待与妈妈的睡前时光,在学习、作业方面也不再那么紧张和自卑,有了更强的动力。

看见没有,能量是流动的,当妈妈学会把愤怒的能量转移到自我成长、自我关照上时,负面情绪就会自然而然地消失,我们也能感受到更为蓬勃的生命力。

如今,这位播音专业出生的妈妈,因为和孩子读书,也发展了自己的副业:做声音主播。听到她在网上的声音作品,柔和而富有力量,我倍加感动:成长就是那么奇妙的事。当我们的注意力从孩子转移到自己身上,从外面转移到了内在,从焦虑、愤怒转移到了充实而自由的生活方式上,我们就更富有张力和影响力,而那些曾让我们愤怒的事,也在这样强大的正能量磁场下,被改变。

这不是奇迹。这,才是妈妈,本应有的样子。

愿每一个脾气暴躁的妈妈,都看到自己的能量,并用这无穷的能量,改变自己、关爱自己,成就新的自己。

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