幽默哲理英语小故事「英语小故事3分钟幽默有哲理」
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An old soldier often told his garden about his past war exploits.
"Once I met with a dozen enemy sol-diers and took them prisoners singlehand-ed."
"It was half a dozen enemy soldiers when you told me the story last year.But why have you added so many more this time?"
"You silly lad.You were younger last year,and I was afraid to frighten you."
While wisiting the cemetery,a sorrowful couple noticed a headstone,which read,"here lies a lawyer and a honest nan"."look at that",the woman said,"money's so tight they're putting then two in a grave."
Lawyer Jokes :
A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
now published by
court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.
什么问题，不是问题吧
what is this ?
老处女求援
一个老处女打电话到消防队：“喂，喂！请赶快派
人来……有两个年轻人正想从窗子爬进我的房间！”
消防队的负责人告诉她：“是由警察处理的，你
为什么打电话到消防队来？”
“因为，要从窗子爬进来，必须有一把长梯子才
行。”
有两条蛇遇到了一起.
其中有一条蛇问:"大哥,我们有毒吗?"
另一条蛇问:"你说这干啥."
那条蛇说:"我咬到了自己的舌头"
Let me take it down An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ." "Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know." 为我所用 一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。” “请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。 An old soldier often told his garden about his past war exploits. "Once I met with a dozen enemy sol-diers and took them prisoners singlehand-ed." "It was half a dozen enemy soldiers when you told me the story last year.But why have you added so many more this time?" "You silly lad.You were younger last year,and I was afraid to frighten you." While wisiting the cemetery,a sorrowful couple noticed a headstone,which read,"here lies a lawyer and a honest nan"."look at that",the woman said,"money's so tight they're putting then two in a grave." Lawyer Jokes : A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, "Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man." "How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave." __________________________________ These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. __________________________________ Q: What is your date of birthA: July 15th. Q: What yearA: Every year. Q: How old is your son, the one living with youA: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with youA: Forty-five years. _________________________________ Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morningA: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset youA: My name is Susan. _________________________________ Q: How was your first marriage terminatedA: By death. __________________________________ Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorneyA: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. __________________________________ Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulseA: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressureA: No. Q: Did you check for breathingA: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsyA: No. Q: How can you be so sure, DoctorA: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, neverthelessA: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. A:Nice to meet you. B:Nice to meet you,too. C:Nice to meet you,three.
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